Career criminal and con artist Jebediah Skint was released from Statesville Prison this last week after serving six months of his sentence.
Judge Simon Jones heard the appeal from Skint’s lawyer. The argument form his attorney was very simple. “My client, Jebediah Skint was convicted of crimes for which he is innocent. He never meant any harm by anything he did. Though it may have been perceived as robbery, burglary, larceny, exploitation of a minor, perjury, assault, bribery, fraud, extortion, forgery, identity theft, shoplifting, racketeering, and kidnapping, he is actually not guilty of any of these charges. In every instance here, he was merely playing games with the so-called “victims” and should not be held liable for any harm caused by his actions.”
Though apprehensive at first, Judge Simon Jones eventually had to concede saying “It does appear, in fact, that Jebediah Skint was only playing games and is innocent of all charges. There’s nothing that can be done. They were just games.”
We do not know where Skint has gone since being released from prison, however a man fitting his description has been seen stalking the Meltsner family all around town. They will be fine though. After all, he is just playing games.
Thanks to Ryan Matlock for the inspiration for this headline.