Bernard returns to Odyssey, surprising residents with his new nose job

ODYSSEY, USA – After an extended absence from the town of Odyssey, longtime resident and window washer Bernard Walton returned. Friends and neighbors of Bernard threw a welcome home party for their friend at local ice cream parlor, Whit’s End. When Bernard came through the door of Whit’s End, many gasped at his new look.

Actually, Odyssey’s not in Ohio

NOT OHIO- Interviews with Focus on the Family revealed that Odyssey is not anywhere close to Ohio and that fans please stop associating them with that state. According to Odyssey mayor Hicks, “We no longer want our beautiful town to be connected with Ohioans any longer. While we are honored that outsiders would believe this

Connie Excited For Yet Another Valentine’s Day Spent Single

Odyssey, USA – Today resident ice cream shop employee Connie Kendall expressed her total joy over yet another Valentine’s Day spent single. On her show Candid Conversation with Connie on KYDS radio, she delved deep into her dating history. During this radio segment, she talked about her relationships with both Jeff Lewis and Robert Mitchell.

U.S. Military Shoots Down Mystery “Object” Flying Over The Midwest

Today, the Department of Defense released a statement about a recent incident miles above the earth that had many civilians scared and bewildered. Spokesman Karl Stanley told a crowd of reporters “Although many details of this case are classified, I can tell you that our satellites picked up an unknown object flying above the earth.

Dave Ramsey Revealed To Have Sponsored The Episode “A Little Credit, Please”

NASHVILLE, TN – Today on The Ramsey Show, host Dave Ramsey revealed a partnership he had with Christian ministry Focus on the Family. Back in 1995, Ramsey joined hands with writer and director Paul McCusker to craft an episode that would teach children about the dangers of credit cards while they were young. Ramsey said

Kanye West Joins The Bones of Rath After Learning They Are Enemies With The Israelites

ODYSSEY, USA – Today, popular rapper Kanye West announced his support of and involvement in the local gang “the Bones of Rath.” According to Kanye, “I found out the Bones are fightin’ some rival gang called the Israelites. I just gotta help them out.” The Bones of Rath is a gang run by Rodney Rathbone,

Company with app that doesn’t work mad when people share content outside of it*

COLORADO- A corporation came under fire last week after users were banned from social media platforms when they disclosed they had bootlegged episodes off the broken application. Fans’ defense was that the app was broken and they could not use it. PR team’s had this to say in response: I can’t believe fans would subvert

Elon Musk Reinstates Those Who Want Connie Kendall Married On His Newly Aquired Site “FaceBase”

Austin, Texas – Today, billionaire Elon Musk announced that he will be reinstating a large group of people that had previously been removed from the social media site FaceBase. Former CEO Phil Lorsey had reportedly been censoring and suspending the accounts of these people who held some beliefs he disagreed with.  Musk made headlines last

Whit Cheerfully looks at the Events of the World While Saying, “that kind of thing never happens in Odyssey!”

WHIT’S HOUSE- Whit took a look at the shopping mall televisions while downtown shopping at the mall after another near death experience involving innocent civilians and children when he saw all the terrible news out in the world. He stopped for a while, then carried on nonchalantly. This afternoon, he was asked on the radio

Mr. Whittaker In Trouble After Details Of His Life Before Moving To Odyssey Emerge

ODYSSEY, USA – Local business owner John Whittaker is in hot water after The Odyssey Tattler leaked images of Mr. Whittaker online. These images purport to show the other life of John Whittaker, before he moved to the small town of Odyssey. Mr. Whittaker has vehemently denied the allegations, despite the pictures clearly showing him