John Whittaker Berates Child After The Child Mentioned Wanting A Television For Christmas

ODYSSEY, USA – Today, a child came into the popular ice cream shop, Whit’s End. Frank, age 7, ordered a small hot fudge sundae with his parents. Mr. Whittaker, who owns this establishment, attempted to make small talk and asked the young boy what he wanted for Christmas. Frank replied that his family’s television broke

Electric Palace Holds Special Christmas Sale: “Buy Any Item At 200% Normal Price And Get 15% Off An Item Of Equal Or Lesser Value”

ODYSSEY, USA – Local business The Electric Palace is reportedly running a special holiday sale, according to owner Bart Rathbone. They are running the sale from now until December 31st. Bart Rathbone gave us all the details on this special offer “Well ya know, I’m really in da Christamus spirit right about now so I

Arthur Dent Opens New Baked Goods Shop In Odyssey

ODYSSEY, USA – Arthur Dent was recently released from the Hillendale Haven. He has resided there for many years following the Novacom incident. His doctors reported that he needed much therapy after he suffered electroshock torture at the hands of one Bennett Charles. His doctors, however, reported that he is very well adjusted, despite the

Jillian Marshall Hangs Mistletoe In J & J Antiques And Gestures Suggestively Towards It

ODYSSEY, USA – Today at J & J Antiques in Odyssey, Jillian Marshall halted her work to hang some mistletoe from the ceiling of the shop. She did this while her boss, Jason Whittaker, was out making deliveries for the business. When Whittaker returned from the shop, he walked into the room and saw Jillian

Bart Rathbone Announces His Run For Mayor Of Odyssey In Next Election 15 Minutes After Conceding Last Election

ODYSSEY, USA – Bart Rathbone just conceded the election to current mayor Spencer Hicks. Shortly after, he announced his run for Mayor in two years, after the term was up. “Odyssey needs a leader with some self-respect. I am da man with that respect for uhh, friends, family, and countryfellow. So I am officially throwin’

Uninformed Odyssey Fan Actually Likes The Video Series

Hope, Arkansas – A self proclaimed fan of Adventures in Odyssey recently came out in support of the Adventures in Odyssey video series. In this seemingly simple statement, she outed herself as totally clueless and ignorant. When faced with the facts of Odyssey and that the video series (although enjoyable for young children) is complete

Connie Late to Work After First Snow of the Year

ODYSSEY, USA – Today, the first snow of the winter fell in Odyssey. On her way to work, Connie rode in her car and spun off the road. She totaled the red Prelude gifted to her by Mr. Whittaker at Christmas, years ago. Reportedly she was combing her hair and took both hands off the

Eugene Meltsner and Tom Riley Reunite in Heaven

HEAVEN- Today Eugene Meltsner and Tom Riley reunited in Heaven. Tom passed away years ago, and they met again for a joyous reunion. Eugene greeted Tom with “Greeting and salutation my dear companion!” It has been far too long since we last interacted.” Tom, ignoring the flowery nonsense, embraced Eugene. Tom said “Howdy Eugene! It’s

John Whittaker Files Lawsuit Against Focus on The Family For Defamatory Video Series

ODYSSEY, USA – Local business owner John Whittaker filed a lawsuit against Evangelical organization Focus on the Family. Reportedly, Focus obtained the rights from Whittaker to write a video series about Whittaker and his ice cream shop “Whit’s End.” Whittaker is now in court with Focus on the Family’s lawyers because Whittaker sees the video

Jared DeWhite to Start Hosting His Own Show on Info Wars

AUSTIN, TX – Jared DeWhite went on Alex Jones’ show today to announce his brand new show that will be joining the website Banned.video. His show will be called “What’s Right? with Jared DeWhite.” Jones interviewed DeWhite asking him about what kind of content the people can expect from DeWhite’s new show. DeWhite said “It