Detroit, MI- We received inside information from the decision-makers about who will be the ones to receive the special prizes from Gary Locke. It is very good news, and now we have an exclusive! The first one of three we received was sent by George G. We have it below.
“okay, so i’m going to say why I luv the club. Heehee that rhymed. so firstly, it’s really fun and i like talking to people and i like all the fun episodes of odisee I’ve herd. It’s really funny and it makes me laugh sooooo much! this is the best show I’ve ever heard and I can’t wait get a prize. So pleese, pleese, pleeeeeeese have me win ive never won anything ever in my life! It would be the best thing ever.”
Okay… so we have no idea what that was, but we’re sure it was further down the list. (Maybe one hundred, I don’t know). So that was a good attempt. Anyway, they gave us one in the top twenty. We’re sure there will be several improvements. We’re reading this from Jake G. I’m seeing a theme here.
“Hiiiii, thanks for reading. I relly wannna tell ya why i lik the club. its funnn and its nise and i like hafing a buntch of peephole two talk too inn the club and i like the club adventchers and i reely reely reely reely reely reely like Jilian. its so great and i like this so mucj pleas pik me im beggin you.”
It only goes downhill from the beginning. Let me show you the one they thought was BEST!? This is OUTRAGEOUS! Give me a picket sign I’m going to give those people a piece of MY MIND. In fact, I’m going to invent a grammar checker for handwritten letter. Oh wait, it exists. It’s called A DICTIONARY! Ahhhh! Alright, last letter. The best?! Ah!
“plese pick me i’m promis ive wanted a prix furr as long i’ve bin aliv. my bruver wants one two so can u send two please. i like the club soooooooooo mutch it’s me dream. 😊😊
So, in other news, if anyone can tell me how you can write an EMOJI in a handwritten letter, I will be eternally grateful. Is that even 100 words?! Also, let’s all crowdfund to get our editor a new laptop and window, both are in his front lawn.