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Mr. Whittaker Loses It After Someone Uses The Word “Coincidence” In A Sentence

ODYSSEY, USA – Today at Odyssey Community Church, John Whittaker lost his cool after overhearing a fellow Churchgoer talk about a coincidence.

Pastor Wilson Knox just finished up his sermon on compassion, and the congregants were starting to file out of the building. John Whittaker, brother-in-law of Pastor Knox, and owner of popular ice cream shop “Whit’s End” was preparing to leave. A few rows behind him, some women were chatting about the things that went on over their week. Then Whittaker overheard one woman say, “I keep seeing this same ad for a blender everywhere I go, how strange!” Another woman replied, “what a coincidence.” At that moment, Whittaker leapt from his seat. His face turned red. Rage filled his eyes. “THERE ARE NO SUCH THINGS AS COINCIDENCES!”

According to our sources, his brother-in-law was able to calm him down and restore his senses to him. However, those women will be finding another Church.


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