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Bernard Walton Proposes New Law That Would Make It A Felony For Children To Touch Windows

ODYSSEY, USA – Bernard Walton proposed a new law that would hopefully make his life a little easier. Walton spends much of his day as a window washer groaning about the mess children leave on windows.

The latest incident came about as Walton was cleaning the windows at Whit’s End when he saw Wyatt Perkins touching the freshly cleaned glass with his “grubby little hands.” Bernard told him “well spray me with glass cleaner and call me a window! There oughta be a law against you children dirtying MY clean windows.”

After giving this some thought, Walton phoned his congressman with a plan for cleaner windows. He proposed making it a felony for any child who dared to dirty a window after it was cleaned, saying “it’s hard enough to keep windows clean with just the dust in the air dirtying stuff, but I also have these kids ruining my hard work and making me need to come clean them again…”

When Walton uttered those words, he had an epiphany. He realized that for all the windows children made dirty and he had to reclean, he was getting paid. He immediately rescinded his proposed law and instead started sending out children to dirty recently cleaned windows and make more business for Walton Janitorial.


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